IT IS A POWERFUL EMOTION THAT EVERYONE FEELS FROM TIME TO TIME
It is important to understand anger because the way you express it can be;
| HELPFUL |
Venting anger properly can get you "fired up" so you can overcome obstacles and achieve goals. |
| HARMFUL |
When you ignore anger or express it in a negative way, it can hurt you and others. |
Anger is one of the most poorly handled emotions in society today - but it doesn't have to be.
WHAT CAUSES ANGER?
Some common causes are:
- Frustration
- Hurt
- Annoyance
- Disappointment
- Harassment
- Threats
HOW DOES THE BODY REACT TO ANGER? Anger doesn't actually make the "blood boil" or your eyes "see red." But it does cause certain changes in the body. Here's what happens:
- ADRENALINE and other chemicals pour into the bloodstream.
- THE HEART pumps faster.
- BLOOD PRESSURE rises.
- BLOODFLOW quickens.
- MUSCLES tense.
IN OTHER WORDS, the body shifts into high gear, generating energy needed for action.Learn how this energy can work to your advantage ~~ or disadvantage. Knowing how to recognize and express anger appropriately can help you:
REACH GOALS - SOLVE PROBLEMS - HANDLE EMERGENCIES
IGNORING ANGER DOES NOT WORK
Failing to deal with your anger may lead to:
- HEALTH PROBLEMS.
- TENSION
- ACCIDENTS
- INTERPERSONAL PROBLEMS.
UNCONTROLLED ANGER CAN BE DANGEROUS
It may lead to:
CRIME - ABUSE - MORE VIOLENT BEHAVIOR
FOLLOW THESE STEPS to keep anger under control.
- Recognize your anger.
- Identify the cause.
- Decide what to do.
KEEP YOUR COOL WHEN EXPRESSING YOUR ANGER
Follow these "do's":
Do Calm Down: Before you discuss the issues. Shouting matches rarely lead to effective solutions.
Do Understand Your Motives: Before you express your anger. Are you trying to defeat the person, or are you trying to solve the problem? If your motive is negative, the results may be too.
Do Be Assertive: Not aggressive. Express yourself firmly and clearly without making insulting remarks. Understand the importance of negotiation and compromise.
Do Seek Help: If you have trouble communicating your anger constructively or if, you get angry too often. Talk with a friend about your problem, or see a counselor for help.
Avoid these "don'ts":
Don't Get Personal: And resort to insults and name-calling. These methods only cause more anger.
Don't Avoid the Issue: And hide what you truly believe. Be direct, but don't get physical or violent.
Don't Make Accusations: You will be sorry about later. Listen carefully to what the other person has to say before you draw any conclusions.
Don't Sulk: In silence. This won't solve your problem.
OTHER WAYS TO CONTROL A FLARING TEMPER
Nobody likes a hothead. So, when you're feeling a bit hot under the collar, try:
- Humor - Don't waste your energy becoming angry over minor problems that can't be helped. Find the humor in the situation.
- Physical Activity- Walking, golfing, weightlifting, can be an excellent outlet for angry feelings. Don't let competition or personal limitations frustrate you. (Consult your health-care provider before starting an exercise program.)
- Rest and Relaxation- Get plenty of sleep to avoid irritability. Meditation, breathing exercises and deep muscular relaxation are also good ways to reduce tension.
- Time Out- When you are angry, take time to calm down and think. Then discuss the issue with the person involved or with a friend.
- Hobbies- Instead of flying off the handle, put your energy into a carpentry project, pulling weeds in the garden or any hobby you enjoy.
WHEN SOMEONE ELSE REACHES THE BOILING POINT KEEP YOUR COOL
Don't answer anger with anger. Remember that anger can lead people to say things they really don't mean.
BE CONSIDERATE
If others are around, encourage the angry person to discuss his or her anger privately. This could prevent embarrassment.
BE A GOOD LISTENER
Often, angry people just need someone to listen as they "sound off."
CONSIDER THE CAUSE OF THE ANGER
Think about whether the angry person might feel better if he or she had fewer responsibilities, more time alone, more rest, etc.
DON'T TAKE CHANCES
Sometimes, anger can lead to violence. If your safety appears to be threatened, get help immediately.
Anger is a natural human emotion. Be sure that you:
- Learn to recognize anger in yourself and others.
- Understand the real reason for your anger.
- Find healthy, constructive ways to express your anger.
(Excerpts from About Anger, 1985 Channing L. Bete Co., Inc.)
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